Trying to find love as a transgender man

A transgender man, Gutierrez grew up as a woman. In high school, he was a bit of a tomboy and came out as a lesbian. But even then, he knew there was something more he was missing.
“Being in a woman’s body, I felt trapped,” he said. “I would see myself in the mirror and see the feminine features of my body, and I would hate it.”
 A year ago, the 30-year-old began taking testosterone, and his life completely changed.
He expected some of the change: Gutierrez knew his his muscles would grow, his voice would drop and his facial hair would come in. But there were surprising changes as well.
“The sex drive itself — it’s crazy,” he said. “I even asked one of my gay friends, ‘What is this feeling? Why am I so excited all the time?’ I can’t get it out of my head, it’s a constant thing. He said ‘Welcome, now you know what guys go through.”

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Two Consonants Walk Into a Bar…

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At this point the consonants are so tightly fused it’s as if they were always and inevitably so: L.G.B.T.

But just a decade ago, the T teetered. It wobbled.

It was eliminated from a federal bill to protect lesbians, gays and bisexuals from discrimination in employment. The 2007 legislation’s principal backers — including Barney Frank, an openly gay congressman — decided that pressing fellow lawmakers to cover transgender people as well was a bridge too far.

That bill failed anyway. But the tinkering reflected broader apprehensions. If not publicly then privately, many gays and lesbians wondered not only about the political costs of an alliance with transgender people but also whether the alliance made any real sense.

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